After having a baby, it is so easy to focus on all of the physical changes your body undergoes. Thereās shrinking happening here, leaking happening over there, and more. Plus you have a whole baby to care for and thereās often no more mental room left to pay attention to anything else. However, Mama, it is so important that you do make the room to also keep tabs on your mental health. Now, donāt let that term scare you. The truth is that from pre-pregnancy all the way through pregnancy to postpartum, your hormones have gone through a multitude of changes. Not only have there been changes, but they have occurred rapidly, sometimes without warning. Just keep in mind that you are not alone in any of this and that we all, no matter what stage of motherhood we are in, need to do regular mental health self-maintenance. Here is an inexhaustive list of ways you can regularly care for your postpartum mental health.
1. Go on Mommy dates.
Meeting up with your Mommy Friends, especially without your little one, is a great way to refresh your mind. Thereās nothing like having adult conversations — just try to talk about topics other than the kids. However, when the topic does come up (how can you not gush over your little cuties?), at least you all will be able to laugh and/or cry with those who also can relate.
2. Talk with someone that you trust.
It is so important, Mama, not to keep it all bottled inside. If you have a trusted friend, family member, or another mama you know, consider sharing with them your feelings and thoughts. You should be well-received and loved within this safe space.
3. Write in your journal.
If youāre not ready to talk it out, another great way to get your thoughts and feelings out is through journaling. Your writings donāt need to be neat, nor do your thoughts need to be perfect. Just write it down, Mama.
4. Take a break.
Itās okay to say ānoā to things, to put your feet up on the couch, and binge-watch your favorite showsā¦ or do absolutely nothing! Your body, mind, and emotions need a break, and often.
5. Go for a walk.
Getting fresh air and Vitamin D is such a great boost for your mind and body. Not only does it get your heart pumping, blood flowing, and lungs filling up with fresh air, it also helps you clear your mind, focusing on your thoughts and your breathing. So grab the stroller or baby carrier and take your little one with you for a quick walk around the block or park.
6. Read a new book unrelated to Parenting.
Get lost in a book, one that has absolutely nothing to do with babies, breastfeeding, or anything else parenting-related. Give your mind a mental escape.
7. Eat well.
The food you eat directly affects not only your body but your mind. If you eat crappy foods, you will feel sluggish in your body and in your thinking. Fuel your body and your mind with foods rich in vitamins and minerals.
8. Exercise regularly.
Engaging in physical activity is essential to maintaining high energy and a positive mindset. Just remember to get the okay from your medical provider before starting a new routine while you are postpartum.
9. Try out a new hobby.Ā
Having an outlet is very important in maintaining good postpartum mental health. This could be as simple as starting a new hobby. Is there anything that youāve always wanted to do? Try taking up a new hobby such as knitting/crochet, guitar, or baking.
10.Ā Attend a Mommy Support Group.
Attending a support group for Moms on a regular basis is an amazing way to not only get your questions answered, but they are great places to be encouraged and, well, supported by people who truly understand what you are going through as a New Mom. You can find in-person and virtual groups for Moms who are First-Time Moms, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Caesarean/Belly Birth Moms, BIPOC (Black & Indigenous People of Color), Working, Pumping, and more. So many options!
11.Ā Consider using medication/herbs.
Sometimes it is necessary to support your postpartum mental health with medication and/or herbs in order to chemically balance out your hormones. (Remember, our hormones change greatly between pre-pregnancy and postpartum.) If you have tried multiple things on this list and you still feel that you need more support, donāt hesitate to contact your medical provider about trying some medicinal treatments to help things balance out.
12.Ā Have regular self-care.
This is intentional time for prioritizing yourself. This could look like a variety ways, like taking a warm bubble bath, getting a massage, or even just saying ānoā to some things and some people. In fact, I would argue that this whole list and caring for your postpartum mental health ARE self-care. I am a huge fan of Self-Care Sundays because helps me to intentionally set aside time for myself on a weekly basis. Thatās the minimum — if you can provide self-care more often, definitely go for it!
13.Ā Get help around the house.
One thing that Iāve learned as a Mom is that if anyone is offering to help you out with something, let them. If no one has offered, ask for a hand. When your family or friends come over to visit you and the baby, they should also be helping you cross an item off of your To-Do/Chore list. Ask them to help you wash the dishes, fold the laundry, run to the grocery store, or whatever it is that will help to lighten your load. Hiring a Postpartum Doula is an amazing way to not only help you with this, but many are also trained to support you in breastfeeding, belly binding, and more.
14.Ā Sleep as much as you can.
Truth be told, your body needs rest. It needs time to restore and repair itself — your mind included. When you lack adequate sleep, it shifts your ability to think clearly and rationally, and it even changes your attitude and mood. I know it can be hard to find the time or to actually fall asleep (especially after those middle-of-the-night feedings), but fight for your rest. You really will feel so much better.
15.Ā Listen to good music.
This is one of my favorite ones here because I just love musicā¦ specifically good music. Music is healing and therapeutic. Because it can help change your mood, I encourage you to play music throughout your day. But donāt just listen to it in your headphones, share the sonic waves with everyone in your home because it will boost their moods too! Itās also great for encouraging baby (and you, wink, wink) to have a restful sleep.
16.Ā Listen to/read inspiring Mommy podcasts/blogs.
There are so many great podcasts and blogs out there that talk about all things mommyhood (like this one!). They are often full of resources and encouragement from other Moms who have been where you are right now. Thank YOU so much for taking the time to visit my blog here at The Mama Connect!
17.Ā Practice prayer & meditation.
As a Christian Mama, I run to prayer throughout my day. Simple, short, āpopcorn prayersā are really all it takes for me to maintain my sanity between homeschooling and mommying throughout the day. (āJesus, please help my patience!ā is one often heard in the Heavens from me.) For you, it could look differently, but whether you utilize prayer, meditation, or other techniques, I encourage you to make time throughout your day to be still and intentional about your thoughts.
18. Ā Speak affirmations to yourself.
If it is important that you speak life and truth to yourself regularly. Between Mama Guilt and imbalanced postpartum hormones, it is easy to grab hold of a negative thought and treat it as a mantra for your motherhood. This can be dangerous. Whether you grab quotes from a book, a Mommy blog, a friend, or The Bible, it is important to have ways to remind yourself of how great of a Mom you really are — flaws and all. You can also write your affirmations on your mirror with dry/wet erase marker or post sticky notes around the house for extra encouragement.
19. Use essential oils.
Sometimes just smelling something really good changes your energy. Essential oils are not only great for boosting or calming your mood, but they have some therapeutic and healing properties. Essential oils (EOs) can be diffused throughout your home, applied topically with a carrier oil, or inhaled. It is important that you do your research first before use because certain oils and blends may not be the best for what your body needs. It is also important that you do your research and consult with your Pediatrician if you plan to use EOs around or on your children. Some great places to purchase EOs are Plant Therapy, Edenās Garden, and Rocky Mountain.
20.Ā Reflect on your birth storyā¦ all of it.
Donāt leave any parts of it out — the good, the bad, and the in-between. No matter what your birth story entails, it is important to go back and reflect on what actually happened. The more positive things you experienced, the easier it will be do so this and celebrate, but donāt shy away from really addressing the negative things. Take some time to write out your birth story. You may even need to speak with someone you trust and/or a therapist if your experience was traumatizing to you. Whatever you do, donāt hold on to your feelings and thoughts centered around your birth experience. Learn what it will take to process and begin healing.
It’s okay to prioritize yourself.
Starlita Kilpatrick
Now, I know that I listed quite a lot of options here, but just know that this list is inexhaustive. Some of these might work wonders while other things might not. I encourage you to try a least one thing, like really try and see what kind of results you get. If it doesn’t work, keep trying other things that speak to you. What’s most important is that you keep at the work of caring for your postpartum mental health because it is work. Have you already tried any of these suggestions? What has worked? What did not? How are things today? Let’s chat!
